Originally ‘crank daddys’ were all top cyclists, expert meat mincers, gramophone obsessives with strong winding abilities, ace fishermen, crank-start car enthusiasts, most railway workers and some sailors. People were happy with it this way.

Sometime in the late 1990s, a small faction petitioned for the inclusion of a number of other modern-day crank users in the definition. They argued that technology had moved on since the term’s coining and crank usage had evolved to include a larger proportion of the population, many of whom were really good at turning a crank.

Included in the argument were the owners of wind-up radios and torches, trailer users and desktop pencil sharpener fanatics.

Many old school ‘crank daddys’ heavily opposed the faction and, using the old ‘historical term’ argument, succeeded in having the case thrown out of court. Only the original skills may have the term applied.

Even in today’s mutually inclusive society, incorrect use of the term ‘crank daddys’ is punishable by a fine and may result in imprisonment.

The term ‘crank pots’ is a slang reference for a number of extremely miffed elderly gentlemen. Its use was particularly popular amongst young males throughout the early 1900s in New York City, during the, now infamous, ‘War on Youth’.

Many cheeky young New Yorkers were often caught purposely winding up ‘crank pots’ on street corners, a practise commonly referred to by the youth as ‘cranking the pot’. One particular situation, believed by many to cause the outbreak of war, arose when several young men rallied together during their clay modelling lesson and produced ‘The Giant Geriatric’. The 24′ high statue, hand crafted in extremely careful detail, was wheeled into the central square of a park overnight and left as a giant effigial insult.

Like many wars, the ‘War on Youth’ had a defined start time and date that everybody remembers clearly. There was no clearly defined reason for fighting and there has never been a clear winner. It also has no clearly defined end date. In fact, by many historian’s reckoning, the ‘War on Youth’ is officially still being fought.