Is it impossible to drink a gallon of milk in an hour? – Following a long and drawn out ordeal, the Cruxes Four finally caught sight of a potential rescue. It was a chopper, heading straight towards them. They were saved.
As expedition leader Dave Thornton grasped the pilot’s hand to thank him, the words just came out.
“Is it impossible to drink a gallon of milk in an hour?” he shrieked, in his distinguished English accent, over the sound of the blades.
The pilot, pleased to see them, replied “I don’t bloody know. But I’m so happy I’m gonna buy you a gallon of milk each and watch you bloody try!”
The Cruxes Four were a late 1960′s Antarctic expedition party. Setting off in the fall of 1968, the troupe consisted of Dave Thornton as leader, Nigel Lamington as navigator, Barry Somers as chef and Maureen Diochovsky as mum.
The expedition set-off to relatively little media interest. Leaving Invercargill, in southernmost New Zealand, in a small speedboat, it is said the quartet were obviously and completely unprepared for their trip; the lack of news coverage was later blamed for not raising this issue with the party.
In fact, even while en route to Antarctica, their small vessel ran out of fuel three times. They drifted most of the way to world’s southern continent.
Upon arrival, the party’s freeze-dried noodle stock dwindled within hours. What had not been taken into account during planning was Lamington’s former status as county Pot Noodle eating champion. As soon as he caught sight of the noodle packs in Maureen’s satchel, they were gone.
The crowd waddled around aimlessly and food-less for a few days. Chef Barry Somers, who was present on the trip as part of his prize for winning reality TV show ‘Top Chef 1968′, hit upon the genius idea of melting the ice in his hands to provide the others with drinking water. It is said this brainwave from Somers saved the lives of his colleagues.
It has been well-documented that the milky-white colour of the snow often causes delirious explorers to dream of milk. In fact, it is believed that the early colonisers of the Milky Way suffered from the same delirium – a phenomenon that led to its naming as such.
Interviews with the Cruxes Four in recent years have revealed that the group conversation revolved solely around the subject of milk only eight hours into their jaunt.
During a television interview with Lamington, it was established that the stricken group discussed everything about milk that has ever been discussed and more.
Gathering the snow up, many of the expedition members began to believe it was milk. They set about trying to drink a gallon of it, initially without time-limit, but soon began experimenting with an hour limit. Apparently Somers came close, managing to drink a gallon of the faux-milk in 71 minutes.
Diochovsky’s diary later revealed that these were times of extreme hilarity. All four were rolling in the snow in hysterics. The entire party were chanting “Is it impossible to drink a gallon of milk in an hour?” over and over.
Since the rescue, both Thornton and Lamington have succeeded in drinking a gallon of milk in under an hour. In 2007, Lamington was featured on a recent episode of ‘Where Are They Now?’ in which he was shown ‘requiring’ a gallon of milk per day just to remain in a good mood.
The I Ved was a popular 1980s mode of transport. Born out of the Sinclair C5 era, the I Ved came with all the mod cons, including heated leather seats, driver-side drinks can holder, pneumatic tyres and even gold plated handlebars.
In the UK, the I Ved was a particularly great seller, due to a several factions of leftover ‘mods’ taking a shining to the vehicle and using it to travel between periodic ‘bashings’ of former ‘rocker’ enemies.
A small surprise, that occured even to the I Ved’s developers, was the vehicle’s ice-handling abilities. This prompted a flurry of orders from Antarctic-based nations and has ensured the vehicle’s survival right through to the present day, where they are still used.