Mail order meat is, these days, a safe and good value option for buying meat, either for home or business. It wasn’t always that way, however.

When the idea of mail order meat was first conceived, roughly one year after the conception of the Post Office itself, it was merely an idea before its time. For a start, many people didn’t have computers. Those that did, did not know how to use them properly and often over-ordered. These gigantic orders often crippled the country’s farming system, often for months at a time.

Another factor was the delivery time. Often the warehouse was located several miles further away than the customer’s local store, meaning, by the time the meat finally arrived, it was never as fresh as the local butcher’s produce. This caused a dip in the number of ‘returning customers’.

The service was finally suspended after the King denounced its existence. His aide had ordered a batch of steaks which were brought from a warehouse some 100 miles north of the Palace. Upon arrival, the stench and the maggots had won the battle for survival, a scene which made the sheltered man quite ill.

Modern refrigerants and refridgerated trucks have now alleviated this problem, making almost anything available via mail order. Even wives.

The Muck Chuck was a special design of medieval catapult, designed for inflicting disgusting punishments upon enemies.

The Muck Chuck came in two varieties: Muck Chuck Original Long Range and, later, the Muck Chuck Close Up.

The long range edition was essentially a catapult, capable of firing a multitude of muck-types distances of up to 1500 feet (457 metres). Depending on the selected ammo, and the chosen spray settings, a variety of results could be achieved:  blindness and vomiting would result from a ‘fine spray’ of dog muck, whereas human muck set on ‘heavy load’ would achieve severe vomiting and often cause a retreat of the enemy.

The Muck Chuck Close Up was launched several years after its predecessor and was born of the increased number of prisoner catchings and desire for punishment. It was essentially a miniature version of the original design, calibrated for maximum efficiency and effectiveness at 20 feet (6 metres); It could pop a stool into a detainee’s mouth without the operator having to so much as look at the target.

Despite the technological advances in weaponry, the Muck Chuck remained in constant employment into the early 20th century, finally being taken out of service due to its futility against air artillery. Muck Chuck Close Up is still occasionally employed today, although only when the forces’ oppositional respect is below factor zero.

‘Make A Fart’ is the only ever feature on popular children’s TV show Blue Peter to have received a complaint.

By the time presenter Marvin Thompson had finished his introductory link, which mentioned the upcoming ‘how to’ feature, 16′000 angry parents had telephoned the BBC to express their disgust at the programme’s content.

A further two promotions for the ‘Make A Fart’ segment occured during the episode, angering even more parents. By the time Racqui Wand came to present the ‘Make A Fart’ instructions, which made use of Blue Peter’s famous ‘Here’s one I made earlier’ line, the Television Centre had received roughly 90′000 telephone calls. Around 5′000 of them were from overseas or areas where television signals could not be received, which astonished programme bosses somewhat.

By the end of the 25 minute broadcast, The Daily Mail had published a front page complaint on the matter, which ended by calling for the heads of those responsible, the BBC had received nearly 1 million complaints, around half in letter form and commuters on the train home, who clearly hadn’t even seen the show, were calling to complain.

The Six O’Clock News that night opened with Thompson and Wand resigning from the show. Their co-presenter, Adrian Wilkes, later told how the experience drove him to a £3000 a day drug habit.

Munter Und was a famous German wrestler-come-actor. Born in 1956, Munter rose to wrestling fame, after he successfully defeated four-times reigning world champion Mossa Mann, then 87. The victory made world headlines, after 15 bookmakers were forced into receivership over the win. Many people were stunned that a geriatric Mann was odds on favourite to defeat the then unheard of Und, who was to celebrate his 20th birthday just days from the victory.

Und went on to defeat numerous opponents and take several world championships, before carving himself a successful television career. He held many roles throughout his career, including a renegade soldier of the underworld, an undercover supercop and ninja warrior. It is believed the greatest escape of his career occured when he failed an audition for a movie playing an undercover policeman in a nursery school.

Sadly, on January 15th 1991, Munter Und passed away from extended steroid abuse. He left behind a wife, Christina Erwere and a son, Ramuvya Und-Erwere.