It is also the title of the B-side found on several rare pressings of the Madonna hit single ‘Borderline’. More on that later.

My cat is pregnant I think I’m the father

Following a night of painful regret, 19-year-old Josh Piggins, from Cozad, Nebraska, entered his search into the Google search engine. While he pilfered through the results that were returned, something behind his computer monitor in the garden caught his eye.

It was his best mate Lance. In fact, that wasn’t what had caught his eye – that was the mirror that Lance was using to signal his attention.

Nevertheless, Josh dashed outside to see what Lance wanted, neglecting the fact he’d left his search about the cat and their spawn in plain sight on the computer screen.

Lance had news. Apparently one of their other mates had thrown up on a sidewalk the night before, leaving a horrendous stain. Authorities were apparently at the site testing for clues as to what had created this urban crop circle, Lance exclaimed excitedly.

Both guys headed off to the scene to take in the delights. Meanwhile, Josh’s younger brother Kenny stumbled upon his dodgy search on the computer.

Fortunately Kenny wasn’t old enough to read the search and certainly didn’t know what this meant for the future of his brother. But he was old enough to lean on the Return key many times, overloading the Google suggest server with the search ‘My cat is pregnant I think I’m the father’.

_{What a pregnant cat could look like if you just photographed its
face}

Now when Google users attempt to search ‘My cat is pregnant…’ handy Google suggest is there with the option ‘My cat is pregnant I think I’m the father’. Rough estimates predict around 1-in-7 cat owners find the suggestion useful, with an estimated 92 percent of those actually requiring the information contained within the search.

‘My cat is pregnant I think I’m the father’ was also the name of a B-side on a few rare pressings of Madonna’s 1984 single ‘Borderline’.

Around five animals rights protesters gathered when they heard of the intended inclusion of the song for release. They arranged a protest against the release of the song.

The protest took place on February 27th 1984 in Springdale, Arkansas. Six local heavy-handed pro-bestiality activists had received word of the protest and set about attacking the animal rights protesters three minutes from the beginning of the march. One of the pro-bests seized a sign that read “Leave cat sex to cats” and caused severe injury to three of the animal rights protesters. The incident marked Springdale’s bloodiest day.

Seeing the violence, the record label eventually agreed to remove the few copies featuring ‘My cat is pregnant I think I’m the father’ they had produced from sale. A total historical black out was brought about as part of the agreement.

Have you ever heard the Madonna song ‘My cat is pregnant I think I’m the father’? Have you ever seen a copy for sale? Tell us your story below.

When the idea of mail order meat was first conceived, roughly one year after the conception of the Post Office itself, it was merely an idea before its time. For a start, many people didn’t have computers. Those that did, did not know how to use them properly and often over-ordered. These gigantic orders often crippled the country’s farming system, often for months at a time.

Another factor was the delivery time. Often the warehouse was located several miles further away than the customer’s local store, meaning, by the time the meat finally arrived, it was never as fresh as the local butcher’s produce. This caused a dip in the number of ‘returning customers’.

The service was finally suspended after the King denounced its existence. His aide had ordered a batch of steaks which were brought from a warehouse some 100 miles north of the Palace. Upon arrival, the stench and the maggots had won the battle for survival, a scene which made the sheltered man quite ill.

Modern refrigerants and refridgerated trucks have now alleviated this problem, making almost anything available via mail order. Even wives.

The Muck Chuck came in two varieties: Muck Chuck Original Long Range and, later, the Muck Chuck Close Up.

The long range edition was essentially a catapult, capable of firing a multitude of muck-types distances of up to 1500 feet (457 metres). Depending on the selected ammo, and the chosen spray settings, a variety of results could be achieved:  blindness and vomiting would result from a ‘fine spray’ of dog muck, whereas human muck set on ‘heavy load’ would achieve severe vomiting and often cause a retreat of the enemy.

The Muck Chuck Close Up was launched several years after its predecessor and was born of the increased number of prisoner catchings and desire for punishment. It was essentially a miniature version of the original design, calibrated for maximum efficiency and effectiveness at 20 feet (6 metres); It could pop a stool into a detainee’s mouth without the operator having to so much as look at the target.

Despite the technological advances in weaponry, the Muck Chuck remained in constant employment into the early 20th century, finally being taken out of service due to its futility against air artillery. Muck Chuck Close Up is still occasionally employed today, although only when the forces’ oppositional respect is below factor zero.

By the time presenter Marvin Thompson had finished his introductory link, which mentioned the upcoming ‘how to’ feature, 16’000 angry parents had telephoned the BBC to express their disgust at the programme’s content.

A further two promotions for the ‘Make A Fart’ segment occured during the episode, angering even more parents. By the time Racqui Wand came to present the ‘Make A Fart’ instructions, which made use of Blue Peter’s famous ‘Here’s one I made earlier’ line, the Television Centre had received roughly 90’000 telephone calls. Around 5’000 of them were from overseas or areas where television signals could not be received, which astonished programme bosses somewhat.

By the end of the 25 minute broadcast, The Daily Mail had published a front page complaint on the matter, which ended by calling for the heads of those responsible, the BBC had received nearly 1 million complaints, around half in letter form and commuters on the train home, who clearly hadn’t even seen the show, were calling to complain.

The Six O’Clock News that night opened with Thompson and Wand resigning from the show. Their co-presenter, Adrian Wilkes, later told how the experience drove him to a £3000 a day drug habit.

Und went on to defeat numerous opponents and take several world championships, before carving himself a successful television career. He held many roles throughout his career, including a renegade soldier of the underworld, an undercover supercop and ninja warrior. It is believed the greatest escape of his career occured when he failed an audition for a movie playing an undercover policeman in a nursery school.

Sadly, on January 15th 1991, Munter Und passed away from extended steroid abuse. He left behind a wife, Christina Erwere and a son, Ramuvya Und-Erwere.