Take a trip to your local supermarket and you will more than likely see a modern-day descendant of Trolley Man fighting their way across the car park, attached to a train of shopping trolleys.

Born Luke Dave Watkins, to seemingly normal parents, in 1907, Trolley Man was clearly no ordinary child. At the age of three, Luke clearly had no interest in his toys. Instead he would demand small pieces of wire, which he would use to weave small basket-like items.

By the age of five, Luke was into adding wheels to his creations. Aged just ten, he had developed a neat system allowing him to store the little trolleys adjacently and using minimum space.

It was clear that Luke had a special talent, a talent that could be put to good use at the brand new supermarket that just so happened to be opening on his 16th birthday down the road. The new supermarket had just put in an order for 200 trolleys, similar to Luke’s design, and needed someone to keep them in order outside the store.

Initially known as the trolley boy, Luke was such a success in his position at the supermarket he remained in the same position right through to adulthood, and beyond. Never was there a better job match. The work was largely autonomous and carried out alone, so his lack of social skills was never an issue; At no time was the employee required to handle food, so personal hygiene was never a requirement; Also, since the trolleys were the sole responsibility of the position, no intelligence, initiative or worldly knowledge was required.

One ‘talent’ that Trolley Man did possess was his striking good looks, which, when combined with the upper body toning brought about by the rigours of the job, rendered him an incredibly desirable catch: the first time, at least.

Such was Trolley Man’s desirability that, by the time he was 25, there was not a female in his 5000 strong town who had not ‘had their way’ with him. As usual, with this kind of promiscuity, seeds were spread. Today, it is believed there is not a single supermarket trolley attendant who is not a direct descendant of Trolley Man.

So next time you are out doing the shopping, and you see that grubby, young, socially impeded trolley clerk smashing their way through the car park with their giant steel caterpillar, give them a wink; For you know the story of Trolley Man.

‘The Munter’, also known as Christopher Henry Davies, has consistently been voted ‘History’s Ugliest Man’, since the year 676AD. Taking the title just six years after the award’s conception, images of Christopher have continually been judged by a secret panel of teenage girls to be the single most repulsive human face to ever have been seen on Earth.

Recent years have proved challenging for ‘The Munter’, as competition from the likes of Ted Danson, Gary Busey, Steve Tyler and, more recently, Amy Winehouse has swayed some of the judges’ attentions, but the title has remained safely in Davies’ hands.

The annual prize (some say compensation) of ten gold coins, has continued its equal division amongst Davies’ descendants, making some of them incredibly, and unfairly, rich. This has upset a small minority of taxpayers, who are mathematically illusioned into believing that their entire annual contribution is blown entirely on the prize.