As stupid as the question ‘Is water wet?’ may seem, it is nonetheless an important question and a question which must be asked in order for us to determine whether or not water is indeed wet.

It was the ancient Greeks that first wrote of water and its wetness, but it wasn’t scientifically confirmed until 1984.

Its confirmation was a simple one, with part-time artist, writer and village bum Peter Tenenbaum finding himself credited with its discovery. Whilst sat on a station bench reading an English dictionary one day, he noticed that the definition of ‘wet’ was something that could be directly applied, without argument, to the properties of water.

It was an important theory and, though a few scoffed at first, it is now almost universally accepted the world over, though a few small villages found at the poles still hold the claim that ‘water is cold’.

Aside from this geographic anomaly, there are occasions where water has been found in an un-wet state. In 1990, Geoff Briggings found water to be ‘hot’ when he placed his hand inside a switched on kettle. That same year, David Tarquin found a small patch of ’salty’ water whilst enjoying a swim in the sea.

These occurances are rare, however, and the current, overwhelming modern-day belief is that yes, until we can gather further evidence to prove otherwise, water is wet.

Wet Sea is a small, sleepy, but popular, fishing village on the coast of Cornwall, England. It is named so for being the place where the sea was first discovered to be wet.

Unlike history’s noted discoveries, such as those by Cook, Columbus and Crapper, the discovery that the sea is wet was swept under the carpets by the UK government. Besides the increased military threat from such a discovery, people were somewhat embarrassed that the discovery had been made by a hippy.

In 1961, a stoned Roger Finch, accidentally fell into the sea at Wet Sea. As his body slowly came round, he proclaimed: “It’s wet! The sea is wet like the tap stuff!”

This line was later translated and edited into a well known Shakespeare play, in an attempt to cover up this discovery’s year.