A number of studies have now concluded that there are an additional three or four reasons why one’s snot may appear bright red.

Why is my snot red?

It is generally well accepted now that Rudo’s Disease was more of an old wives’ tale than a genuinely illness.

This passage will take you through the three or four known causes of red snot, but first read the notes on Blood and Viruses below.

Blood and Viruses below

It should be noted at this point that the common amateur diagnosis for bright red snot usually includes some kind of reference to blood and/or a virus.

If what you have is blood coming out of your nose, then this is not snot. Blood is blood, and if it is coming out of your nose then you should seek treatment immediately.

You may have a virus or serious injury.

Read about bright yellow snot here.

The three or four reasons for red snot are:

1. High salt intake
By far the most common cause of bright red snot is a high dietary salt intake.

When salt mixes with the water in your body, it goes on to rust your body’s iron stocks. Rusty iron is a reddish colour.

Studies have shown that the body used to eject waste rust through the sweat pores. This process often resulted in a side-effect of stained, red skin. Humans living in areas of high-salt intake became unnerved at sometimes having red skin. Evolution’s answer was to move the rust-excrement process to the nose – causing the slightly less frightening syndrome of bright red snot.

2. High raw meat consumption
People who eat a lot of raw meat carcasses will find a certain amount of the animal’s raw blood will enter their sinuses and mix with sinal fluid. This is quite normal and nothing to be alarmed about.

3. Anger
The phrase “to see red” actually derives from a level of anger that causes snot to appear bright red. (Though it should be noted that whether the snot actually is bright red or not during these moments of extreme irateness is still up for debate.)

It is possible that a person can get mad enough that their own snot will appear bright red to them, occasionally others around them.

Other information

Unlike bright yellow snot, red snot poses no immediate hazard or risk if you should accidentally touch it. Red snot should never be used in cooking, however.

Have you had a problem with red snot? Do you have any advice for fellow sufferers? Have you discovered any additional causes? Feel free to post in our comments section below.

Situated just 147 miles from Devon’s Brownston, We Cum Tit Village is an elusive place that many travellers fail to stumble across.

We Cum Tit Village

We Cum Tit Village garnered its name in the middle ages. Following the Cornish rebellion in 1497, people set about renaming the towns and villages of Cornwall with as much Cornish language as possible.

Since We Cum Tit Village was on a popular route used by wealthy Britons heading down to Newquay for the weekend, the village unwittingly held the county’s record for the most pasty shops. Since ‘We Cum Tit’ is in fact Cornish for ‘Amazing Cornish pasty’, the name was a given.

As time passed, many moved away from We Cum Tit Village. With only a handful of pasty shops able to survive the decline in British tourism, many We Cum Titters, as they are collectively known, moved away to find work.

The place become a barren, almost lifeless place. Several generations of the Ordnance family, famous 18th Century mapmakers, managed to completely ignore the place, removing it from the knowledge of Britons for an eternity.

In the early 21st Century, makers of TV sitcom The Inbetweeners needed a roundabout for a storyline. The roundabout needed to display the words ‘We Cum Tit Village’ in flowers. The joke was that some of the characters had rearranged the flowers on their village roundabout from saying ‘Welcome To Our Village’ to ‘We Cum Tit Village’.

A young Cornish intern who was researching for the show vaguely remembered his Cornish language teacher mentioning We Cum Tit Village in class. As speakers of English, the Cornish boys had fallen about with laughter at the time. This caused much offence to the native language teacher.

The researcher informed the director and was despatched immediately with a cameraman to grab a shot of the village roundabout. The set designers then made up the ‘original’ roundabout back at the studios to look like the one in We Cum Tit Village.

As a thank you for the village’s generosity, the makers of the TV show sent each We Cum Titter an Apple Danish.

Have you been to We Cum Tit Village? Have you ever seen a map that features We Cum Tit Village? Were the cum tits (Cornish pasties) we (amazing) there? Tell us your story below.

It is now known that there are three main factors that can turn one’s snot bright yellow in colour.

Why is my snot bright yellow?

Lazy philosopher and notorious lothario Aristopollies couldn’t be bothered to discover why his snot was occasionally bright yellow. He was far too busy with other stuff.

He did, however, ask the question lots in his manuscripts, evidence of which still exists today. It seems Aristopollies had quite the obsession with mucus.

It was the beginning of the 1940s, and a man named John Holdsworth was playing around with some bright yellow snot in his garage.

After keeping diet records, he had taken a snot sample from his neighbour. He knew everything his neighbour had eaten and consumed in the last seven days.

By writing down, on a sheet of paper, the items his neighbour had consumed Holdsworth created a list of all the things likely to turn one’s snot bright yellow.

These were:

1. Snorting turmeric
Despite being good at keeping Alzheimer’s away, packing one’s nose with turmeric is extremely bad for bright yellow snot. In some cases, it has been known to cause gallons of bright yellow snot to pour out onto the floor and the surrounding areas.

In 1968, a man was shot by police in Belize after snorting what was later described as “a truckload of turmeric”. Belize is one of the few countries of the world where having bright yellow snot is a criminal offence and is punishable by death.

2. Eyeballing post-Berocca urine
Anybody who has had a Berocca, or similar vitamin-C based product, will have noticed the extreme yellowy colour it turns the consumer’s urine.

It is known that eyeballing (drinking through the eyes) this urine will turn one’s snot bright yellow for approximately 5.64 days. Avoid at all costs.

3. Eating raw canary
Much like the Western full-stop, in some cultures it is customary to munch on a raw canary at the end of every spoken sentence.

People of these cultures suffer from extremely thick, bright yellow snot. It’s disgusting. The snot often lasts for months, even years, with many opting for a vow of silence in order to clear their sinuses.

So, there in lies the reason(s) for your bright yellow snot. It is important that you remember not to touch your bright yellow snot as it can cause severe memory loss.

In case we are too late: It is important that you remember not to touch your bright yellow snot as it can cause severe memory loss.

Have you had a problem with bright yellow snot? Do you have any advice for fellow sufferers? Have you discovered any additional causes? Feel free to post in our comments section below.

What would an engineer use a breadboard for?

So we’ve established the extreme importance a breadboard carries to an engineer. Words simply cannot explain this importance, but it’s very important, so you will have to just trust us on that.

Without a breadboard, an engineer would be unable to set a wanishie in place. Now, having just read that last sentence, we know your first instinct will be to go away and look up a wanishie to find out what it is. Well, to save you the bother, we’ll explain what a wanishie is in this very article as well. See? Two for the price of one – bargainous.

The wanishie, invented in 1957 by the Japanese legend Sagameechi Wanishie, is the generic type of engineering fixing used the world over. No matter what you happen to be looking at, using or standing next to; if it was engineered, it’s held together using wanishies.

The wanishie is applied in all types of engineering from circuit boards to skyscrapers.

_{What an engineer’s breadboard could look like}

Despite the wanishie’s success at holding the world’s engineering in place, there has always been an unfortunate design flaw: They may only be bashed into place using a breadboard.

In 1957, breadboards were all the rage. Breadboard makers were amongst the seven wealthiest multinationals on the globe. Their requirement to build tall buildings and develop ultra-fast electronics was welcomed with open arms by the breadboard manufacturers.

It is also believed the relative low-cost of a breadboard helped dumb down opposition to this necessary tooling.

Throughout the 1980s, the International Engineering Council began questioning the method of depending upon the wanishie. The IEC began the decade 100% pro-wanishie and came out of 1989 only 64% pro-wanishie.

It is believed violent lobbying-tactics employed by colluded breadboard and wanishie manufacturers were responsible for this decline in popularity amongst the engineering fraternity.

Despite the fixing’s opposition, no realistic replacement has ever been found. A fact that some believe is down to the vehement patent laws applicable to the wanishie.

Despite the extensive use of the wanishie-breadboard method, very few non-engineers will have ever seen the method in practice. This is because it is against the law in all countries of the world to openly bash a wanishie into place with a breadboard. Most work of this type is carried out under a large black cloth.

It was the ancient Greeks that first wrote of water and its wetness, but it wasn’t scientifically confirmed until 1984.

Its confirmation was a simple one, with part-time artist, writer and village bum Peter Tenenbaum finding himself credited with its discovery. Whilst sat on a station bench reading an English dictionary one day, he noticed that the definition of ‘wet’ was something that could be directly applied, without argument, to the properties of water.

It was an important theory and, though a few scoffed at first, it is now almost universally accepted the world over, though a few small villages found at the poles still hold the claim that ‘water is cold’.

Aside from this geographic anomaly, there are occasions where water has been found in an un-wet state. In 1990, Geoff Briggings found water to be ‘hot’ when he placed his hand inside a switched on kettle. That same year, David Tarquin found a small patch of ‘salty’ water whilst enjoying a swim in the sea.

These occurances are rare, however, and the current, overwhelming modern-day belief is that yes, until we can gather further evidence to prove otherwise, water is wet.

Unlike history’s noted discoveries, such as those by Cook, Columbus and Crapper, the discovery that the sea is wet was swept under the carpets by the UK government. Besides the increased military threat from such a discovery, people were somewhat embarrassed that the discovery had been made by a hippy.

In 1961, a stoned Roger Finch, accidentally fell into the sea at Wet Sea. As his body slowly came round, he proclaimed: “It’s wet! The sea is wet like the tap stuff!”

This line was later translated and edited into a well known Shakespeare play, in an attempt to cover up this discovery’s year.