Originally ‘crank daddys’ were all top cyclists, expert meat mincers, gramophone obsessives with strong winding abilities, ace fishermen, crank-start car enthusiasts, most railway workers and some sailors. People were happy with it this way.

Sometime in the late 1990s, a small faction petitioned for the inclusion of a number of other modern-day crank users in the definition. They argued that technology had moved on since the term’s coining and crank usage had evolved to include a larger proportion of the population, many of whom were really good at turning a crank.

Included in the argument were the owners of wind-up radios and torches, trailer users and desktop pencil sharpener fanatics.

Many old school ‘crank daddys’ heavily opposed the faction and, using the old ‘historical term’ argument, succeeded in having the case thrown out of court. Only the original skills may have the term applied.

Even in today’s mutually inclusive society, incorrect use of the term ‘crank daddys’ is punishable by a fine and may result in imprisonment.